OMG I can hardly sit still and wait!!!

Once I get back, I'm going to occupy myself, go and sleep, and VOILA it's FRIDAY!!! Then I'm gonna pack up ALL my stuff, clean up my room, arrange everything nice and tidy for my darling's arrival! I'm gonna play some music to keep my company, AHHH yes play the CD my sister got for me (HUGS!) and spend some quiet time.

OH MY GOODNESS I FORGOT to say. Because I extended my stay here for one more week, we have to do work duties. DO YOU KNOW I HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE COMMON ROOM!?!?!?!? It has I think TWO WEEKS OF GARBAGE in there, and I HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP!!!! (Because the previous DM didn't do his job, APPARENTLY).

I am so MAD!! Growl. I kinda knew it would happen... but still!!! :( Gah.

Anyway, the thing is, after I sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow, my next waking moment will be to SEE MY DARLING AT THE AIRPORT!!!!~ YAY!! :):):)

It's a looooooooooong way to the airport, but I hope I've got everything settled. *keeps fingers crossed* I realized I get very stressed up about travel plans and everytime I think of them I get a splitting headache.

Yes, Grace! I finally realize the true reason for my headaches. I didn't tell you guys about my headaches right? Yah. When I was writing my Canadian paper, I had such a huge headache I really kinda blanked out. I think that's because I studied too much and worked too hard that week (wrote three essays and two exams).

Then when I went over to their place for the weekend, the headache persisted and only went away after much TLC (Tender Loving Care!) from Don and Grace. Haha. On Monday I had to think about my last essay again and also the VIA Rail stuff, and made sure I had all the Canada travel plans settled, so the headache came on again.

NOW, I've been sitting at this computer in the Davis Centre (DC holds one of the few libraries on campus) for about three hours. Sending emails to make sure I've got the Toronto stuff down pat (so I won't get lost on Saturday!!!). Mind you, it's a three-hour PLUSPLUS journey to the airport!!

And also, I've been checking out potential accomodations for our Europe tour. Whilst the Canada trip is nice and ready, Europe is pretty much UNPLANNED. We've got the Railpass, and my birthday in Venice, but that's about it. Hahahahahaha.

Yups. So after looking at all that, and worrying about every damn thing, I am having another headache. Hahahaha. Yay. But typing all that out now I feel much better. :):)

I MISS MY PAPA AND MAMA, LISA AND CHARLIEBOY!!!! *sniffles!!* Sending you all loads of HUGS and KISSES ok!! *muacks muacks!!* :)

Alrighty. I'll be heading back to my room now. :):) Later~~! :) 0 oogly boogly . #

I am finally DONE. DONE FOR GOOD FOR WATERLOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahahhahhahaa. Finished my last essay. It was very super sloppy but I really, really just wanted to get it done! And now it is! Hahahah. Oh well. I tried my best. So. :D

It's end of Wednesday!!

Been at Don and Grace's house over the weekend and stayed till today. Don and Grace are like my very own Canadian family. :) Don says I put on weight, though. :( Sobs!!!

It's been quite a crazy weekend, actually. Planning for our Canada mini-getaway is so tedious. GAH. But baby will be here ON SATURDAY!!!!!!! And he will write his last paper later (Thursday evening, SG time). YAY! :):):)

I can't wait for him to finish his exams and arrive. :):) 0 oogly boogly . #

I am panicking.

I realize that I have taken the internet in my room for granted.

These past four months, I have come back everyday to an surety of internet. I have come back to my perpetual online status on MSN, the assurance that I am always connected to the rest of the world, the assurance that I can get my emails anytime and all the time, the assurance that I will see my family online as soon as it's evening here.

I have woken up everyday to the assurance that my baby is online, doing his work, waiting for me, watching me sleep. I have woken up to the warmth of his voice, the reassuring presence of "Charles" and "Q" with the little green button by their names, telling me they are online, telling me as soon as I click the little green telephone, I will hear their voice. See their faces.

Have my daily, necessary, dose of home.

Oh. My. God. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow morning, I will no longer have this privilege. The person will come and collect the modem in the morning. And I will truly, truly feel, the meaning of alone. No longer able to click and access the world, to ease my anxieties, to have and hold, my family, and my sweetheart.

This is finally, finally, what is bothering me. I have an exam tomorrow, but I cannot study. I cannot bear the feeling. I am dreading it, as I have never dreaded anything else in my life.

Do you know the story of children and their daemons? They have an eternal bond between them, that ensures eternal companionship. They will never be alone. As soon as they are separated, they will each wander around, lost, souless, and finally, they will die away.

I am being paranoid, of course. And 'melodramatic', as some would have it. How will Don and Grace find me? What a ridiculous question, of course, my better sensibilities tell me. They will find me as they always do.

I am so afraid. I am afraid of how I will feel in that instant I hang up on Skype, knowing it is the last one I will ever be able to make from my room. Oh. Hold me, someone. I am afraid I will feel so cut off, so amputated, that I will frantically grasp onto any means and ways I can find to get back 'online' again.

How can I study for my paper in this state?

Oh, God. Come, dear Lord. Please.

I am so afraid.

Dear Grace, please come and find me soon.... I feel alone already.

I am trying to be brave, but I am so afraid.

:(

sobs. 0 oogly boogly . #

I finished another essay! Muahahhahaha. The one where my prof asked me to rewrite--It's Done!

It was rather tedious, but now it's done! YAY!!!

Left ONE exam and ONE essay! La la la. :D

Tomorrow is Canadian Lit. I'm not sure how to feel about it. :( I've always enjoyed most of the books in the course, and grinding them into my head for examination purposes seem.... strange? I don't know. Makes me uncomfortable. :(

Sigh.

Pray that I can still take pleasure in these books whilst preparing them for the exam... :) AMEN!

*happy!* Hee! :D

[Picture: Easter egg painting! Thanks to Emily and Cheryl on Easter Sunday. :) That is specially painted for Mr.BoyfriendDearest. Mainly cuz it's blue. Haha.] 0 oogly boogly . #

YAY! I finished another essay! It was later than I planned, but nevertheless it's done now! And I really think this is the most ambitious essay I've ever written. Hahah. Feels like I wrote a mini PhD.

Ok. I'm exaggerating. But seriously, you know, or at least, I know, when I've written a blast of a paper when at the end of it, I feel light-headed, my vision is woozy, and my body is aching.

And then you just wanna go, Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah........... It's done. Smiles. Beams. ^______________^ Grin silly. Whatever. Hahaha.

SO HUNGRY. YAY! Shall take the rest of the night off. :):) (Or whatever's left of it, hahaha.)

[Picture is fresh from the oven! Taken after I finished the paper. Grinning stupidly. Hahaha. :D] 0 oogly boogly . #

Just came back from my second last exam! This is the first time ever I completed all the essays and even left early! Hahahahhaa. That is simply because I don't have enough to say.

Oh well! That's over! Yay! A big load off my head! I'm telling you, Critical Theory is not easy ok. The materials are so damn hard to digest. Just pick up any Hegel or Irigaray or whatever--you'll see what I mean. :D

Done, done, done! :D:D Yay! Only ONE more exam (on Fri) and TWO essays left!

Ok, technically, three essays. Because even though I completed one on Monday (SO HAPPY!), my Postcolonial prof just emailed me to tell me to rewrite that essay. So. The math would have been 3 - 1 = 2 + 1 = 3.

Never mind. I won't let it get me down. It's the last days, and I'm gonna give it all my bestest best shot. :D:D La la la!

I even bought Egg Fried Rice to pamper myself. Hahaha. :D

Alrighty. Later, peeps. ;)

[Picture of tulips that Grace arranged for Easter brunch on Sunday. The tulips are pretty, eh? Hee.] 0 oogly boogly . #

I'm back! :)

Had a MOST lovely time at Don and Grace's; but I hardly got any work done. Haha. I SUCK!! Now it's back to REALITY for five days (almost) before it's all over for good.

JUST 2 Exams and 3 Papers, people!! And then I'll be free like a chippity-chirpity birdie bird bird! :D

La la~

Waiting for my darling to wake up now... MMM. :) *I will be positively squealing once that nifty counter hits TEN days left.* ^_____________^ Hee! :D:D

Okie. Shall be getting things in order and getting myself back into groove, baby.

Happy Easter, people!! 0 oogly boogly . #

Sometimes, on Good Days, I do feel I have the potential to be pretty cute.




On such days, when I look in the mirror, I might also feel like this:

Hahahaha. :D

Off to Guelph for the weekend! It's Easter! Grace is bringing me for another haircut "in readiness for Q's arrival". Hahaha. Also, we'll be having HOT CROSS MUFFINS!!! Remember the nursery song, 'Hot cross buns, hot cross buns' or something? Hahaha. And we're also gonna do some Easter Egg painting with Emily! *happy and excited*

^__________^

Will be back on Sunday~ Don't miss me! :D 0 oogly boogly . #

Nah. That's how I feel now, ok?!

Fat and dumpy ugly and incredibly unattractive.

Swepna lost weight, ok. Why is it that I must put on weight?!

'Nuff said. GROWL. :( 0 oogly boogly . #

Yay!!! Three papers down, two to go!! So happy! Hahaha. The Romanticism paper today was kinda like my after-this-take-a-break point; so whilst I was really preparing hard for the paper, I was also looking forward to it so much!!

It's like during the whole week, everytime I feel super stressed, or depressed, or tired, or burnt out (trust me, I did!!), and just wanna give up and concuss on my bed, I told myself, Monday! Monday! Monday! Hang in there, and you can rest all you want on Monday after the paper!!

Hahaha. Everytime I wanna take a break, or just take a breather, I tell myself, 'Not now, MONDAY!'. I even prepared a delicious dinner today as a treat for myself, and Haagen Diaz Cookie Dough Ice-Cream!! Planning this little treat kept me going man. :D:D

It's tough, ok? Too many books to read and authors to cover, and so little time and energy.

So after my paper, I booked an appointment with the school health centre (I really don't know what's up with my skin, and I want it to clear before *muacks muacks* comes!! Haha.). And I got myself a nice Timmy Horton's lunch, and I was off to the mall!!!

Haha. After trying on various tops and bottoms, and going into every store that looks affordable, and even though I didn't buy much (air freshener, water, cushy socks, a couple of toiletries, and a secret top hahaha :D), I'm feeling so ^__________^ ! It's the walking around, not the splurging, understand? Haha.

Oh, and the best part is, I found a pair of shoes that are absolutely gorgeous. They are gorgeous because they look gorgeous on me, and they add extra inches to my petite frame, AND they're SO COMFORTABLE!!!

But. It's $49.99. :( The sales person said they'll have a different sale next week, so I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed and hope they're on sale next week!!

Actually they didn't look all that appealing on the shelf; but the pair I originally went to check out didn't work out, so I was like, ah, what the hell, just try lah. Hahaha. :D So you see! It's always good to try different/new stuff--you never know what might just work for you! :D

So happy! *bounce bounce* Hee. Gonna whip up a storm with my neighbour too, for dinner (she's Persian/Canadian, and a superb cook). :D

Hooray. Today is ME day! Self-declared. No work today, just good food and music and a much welcomed good night's rest. ;)

Later, peeps. ;) 0 oogly boogly . #

Hi Charles!! Look what I got for you!


Isn't it the biggest slice of pizza you've ever had?! ONE SLICE! And I've already had a couple of bites, so it was actually slightly bigger. Hahaha. I KNOW you'd have loved this! :D:D It's like Whopper Pizza. Hee. :D I take like half an hour to finish one slice. Hahaha.

My busiest, craziest, craziest time is over. I've had so little sleep the past few days. Colossal paper on Thursday; Shakespeare exam on Thursday; Victorian exam today morning...

Remember I whined about the Shakespeare exam making us write too much? Well I thought that was bad; until TODAY's exam. Get this right: Today, in two and a half hours, we have to write FOUR essays. Either four essays, or three essays + ten quotations.

Craziness.

Anyway after the exam, I found out that a lot of the students didn't finish all the texts as well--what a relief! I thought I was the only one. Haha. BUT, the difference is, they did read up on the texts.

And this is so astonishing and, I don't know, great to know? The people here (at least the ones I spoke to), they SHARE their essays! Like they email their essays to each other so that they'll learn more. So for example this girl she didn't read Arnold per se, but she still knew enough for the exam because she read the essay that her friend wrote on Arnold; and her friend conversely knew about Ruskin because she had sent her the essay on Ruskin. I mean, How Cool is THAT?

At the risk of making a huge generalization, I want to say having been here for these three months, I feel that this is the kind of study-environment here. Most of the people I've met tend not to 'horde' information (though there ARE a few who do, but they're just a handful, as invariably there will be).

And 'after exam conversations' are different too. Even if you're not one who indulges in after-exam conversations, I'm sure you can relate to those squealings and OMG THAT WAS SO BAD and UGH I'M GONNA FLUNK IT sentiments RIGHT AFTER the exams. As soon as the invigilator says, "Ok, you may go", there's that kinda frantic commotion.

Maybe it's just my program, maybe for others the above scenario is the same; but that's not how it works here. If they discuss the exam, they are frank about it. That means, if they think they wrote a good paper, they will say they wrote a good paper. And when they discuss the content of their papers, they are confident that what they wrote was good, or at least exam-worthy.

Sometimes I feel like that after my exams too, but I'm almost never ever say "I felt good about that exam". I wonder why? Is it because I am afraid that if I say "that was good" but I get a lousy grade back, it'll kinda be "?????" ?

I don't know. It's just different here. The workload might not be light (no!), but it definitely feels better. So strange. 0 oogly boogly . #

Check it out: The WarZone of Essay Writing.

The colossal paper that's been giving me colossal headaches, the GRANDMOTHER OF ALL DISGUSTING PAPERS is DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!

For intimate details, email me. Hahah.

Anyway, my exams started today. Uh. I didn't know we had to write 2 essays??? O_o

Well. We're supposed to identify six out of eight quotations that were taken from the plays, identify the speaker, the dramatic context, and explain its significance thematically and/or stylistically. Then write two more essays. See? All that in two hours? Haha. Needless to say, I couldn't finish.

OH WELLS. There were people who left early though?! Bah.

Not sure how to feel now cuz on one hand I'm super bouncyhappytiggerlydelirious about finishing the COLOSSAL paper, but on the other hand I still have a 9am paper tomorrow. Torn in two extremes!!

Supposed it wouldn't make much sense to you, unless you are/have been a student like me. Muahahaha. :D:D

Ok. SMILES! :D

**OHHH. I just realized the my lovely countdown (SO PRETTY!!) is also extremely smart?! Did you know that it automatically adjusts itself to whatever timezone you're in?! :D Just change your computer clock and refresh this page; you'll see what I mean!

Haha. :D

My whole body is aching like bleagh. Arms ache, back ache, headache. Anyone has after-colossal-papers symptoms like that too? :X *snorts* 0 oogly boogly . #

The SWEETEST surprise EVER. EVER EVER EVER!!!

I'm SO HAPPY NOW. :):):)

Yay!!

See what my brother and sister made for me?!?


*AHHHHHH*!! *Swoons!!* "Created with LOVE!!"

^__________________^ SO HAPPY!!

They surprised me by putting it online where she knows I check religiously everyday! :):) Hee! When the page loaded, and I saw the picture-banner, I thought it was a new quiz she took or something... and then I saw the little caption:


and I was like, MEOW!!! Hahahha. :D

GRINS GRINS GRINS GRINS! :):)

Thank you darlings! I LOVE YOU!!! :):)

MUACKS!!

Hee. Yay! Got new inspiration to write my essay(S)! :) Thank you!!! *HUGS!*

*bounce bounce bounce*

^_____________^

Here's to three of us! Yay! :D Hee.


Can't wait till I see you two again. :):) MUACKS. 0 oogly boogly . #

I feel kinda bah about the Critical Theory essay that I submitted. I mean, I read Foucault and Bhabha really, really thoroughly, in order to grasp what they're saying, so that I can make my case. I just feel shitty when the amount of work I put into the paper doesn't actually come through IN the paper. Like when I write my Canadian essay, or my Romantic essay, or Shakespeare, or whatever, I read the text like super thoroughly, making tonnes of notes, and I end up only using, what, 30% of them? Sometimes I wonder if I'm taking the longer route for my essays. I really think I've nailed exactly what and how it works for me when it comes to essays--but I really wonder if it's the most efficient way.

Bah. I'm so drained from these papers. At this point, exams almost seem like a welcomed relief. I know I'm probably just saying that, but seriously.

Sigh.

To cheer myself up, I decided to take the time to cook dinner. And by 'take my time', I mean, take my time. I took almost an hour--mostly because I was staring blankly into my boiling pasta. I wasn't even excited about it. I looked at the bubbling yellow strands and all I could think of was that I want to go to bed. Bah.

When my appetite suffers, you KNOW I'm probably in a dismal kind of state. It probably means a huge part of me just wants to sit and mope, sink into the bed or sofa and space out.

SIGH. I feel so bad that I'm still owing my Romantic essay and Victorian essays. Two of my favourite classes--and I'm missing my papers for them. BAH. I can't even write them now because I've got the --

Blah. I don't even wanna say it. I really ought to stop feeling so bitter about the course, but I'm still in a state of disbelief that I actually took and am still taking and not done with the course. How can such a thing happen? Seriously.

Oh well. Some happy things happened today, actually, and I honestly wanted to blog about them. I tried to work up the excitement that they deserve, but the heart (or mind?) is weak. Hahahaha.

Okays. I'm gonna take a shower and hit the bed. Maybe I'm lacking sleep. :)

Good night, people~! 0 oogly boogly . #

Nah.



Why?

Be-ca-ause?!


La la la~



Ha ha ha~!


And a lot!!! *Boom!*


And my favourite!



Ok enough.

. . . . . .

. . . bleagh.ughz. . . highlystressedlah, can?! . . . .

*sniffs*

Here: For you deprived people teens+youths who spend-too-much-time-with-books-and-school and who don't know what this is all about, here's a [LINK].

And [THIS] is for LISA and CHARLES!

Hahaha. :D:D

Ok. Essay!!!

[Got a SURPRISE to blog about, but that's a treat for after-my-essay-is-done, ok? So you guys have to wait as well. Muahahaha. *evil laugh*]

[Ok. Enough. *hysterical laughter* hee hee hee. Ok ok OK!!! Enough!! My goodness.]

*ahem*

Growls.

Ugh.

Bleah. 0 oogly boogly . #

Wheeee!! I like my countdown counter!! So pretty and nice!! :D:D

And look what I've got for you guys too!


Fortune cookies!! Hahaha. :D:D They're such a big thing here.

It doesn't show up properly on my page though... cuz the words are black and my background is black. I tried to change the background colour but it doesn't work. Oh well!! Just click somewhere in that box and you'll have a fortune! :D

Nah. Give you, lah. :D Have fun~! 0 oogly boogly . #

It's April, darlings!! That means:

- Exams are here!
- Papers have to be handed in!!

But!

- Don and Grace are back! (YAY!)

Check out the picture! Grace and I made these graham cookies the last time I went, because the church was having a luncheon thing and Grace offered to bring these yummy cookies.

AND!!

- ONE Month from now, I'll see my SWEETIE again!! *happy!!*

ANDDD!

- I'll be home soon!! *muacks!*

I've ran two-thirds of this SEP race, and now I've only got one-third more to go.

I sound like this is such a chore, right? Haha. It's not. It's just that I wish a little of home was with me. I'll have a little of that in a month, though. After all, Home is where the Heart is. *blush* Hee. :D Yay! :)

Gonna try to get started on my Critical Theory paper, due on MONDAY. Gah.

[No time to mope. Will mope another time. Hahaha. :D] 0 oogly boogly . #